"NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and
Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John
go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and
Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives,
Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for
$32.50. None of them will have anything
smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get
their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for
a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1
for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in
his bathroom: toothbrush and
toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of
items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last
word in any argument.
Anything a man says
after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about
the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries
about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is
one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is
one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man
expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman
expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up
to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a
book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up
for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as
good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow
deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
A woman knows all
about her children. She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears
and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware
of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE
DAY: A married man should forget his
mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!" ~Unknown.
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